Sacrifice

Today I have a dear friend that God so graciously placed in my life who is embarking on the same journey we started not long ago….only hers is so much more than mine.  I sent one son to serve but had 3 beautiful kids still at home.  She is sending her two sons, her only children to boot camp at this very moment.  She will walk back into her home to be greeted by silence.  There will be no more crazy game nights playing chicken foot…no more arguments about silly sibling things…no more birthday cakes…no more family drives to Texas…no more lots of things like Easter, Mother’s Day, Birthdays…but there are new things that will bring joy too…

There will be pride in what her sons have chosen to do…there is the absolute unadulterated joy at that first letter in the mail and every one after that….there is the feeling she will get when she knows her boys have passed one stage, and then the next and then the last and hardest; the Crucible….there is the moment she will hear their voices for the first time since they left home…there is the sight of their new, manly faces after 13 weeks of the hardest recruit training in the military…there is the first hug that feels like home….there is the hours spent on family day just staring at their beautiful faces…there is the new way that they walk through the world…the way they stand at ease no matter where they are…there is walking through the mall and having a stranger thank them for their service…there is their presence in her home for a few precious days when it is all over.  It is like nothing else and there will never be anything else like it.

So as her boys swear in and say goodbye, I thank her.  I thank her for her sacrifice, for her way of being graceful in the choice her children have made.  I thank her for allowing herself to be drafted when they made that choice.  I thank her for the children she and her husband raised…the way they are strong and willing to do what others cannot do.  I thank her for giving her boys to our country, because that is what she has done.  They will always be her sons, but she has given them to us so that we may remain free.  I thank her when thanks is not enough.  I pray for their well being…that they remain healthy and strong…that they hear the voice of their Father in Heaven when they are struggling…that they lean into Him when all else fails.  I pray that they have the strength to put one foot in front of the other when there is nothing left inside to continue on. But most of all, I pray that they feel the love of those who are far away but stand behind them in everything they are endeavoring to do….that they would know without a shadow of a doubt that they are not forgotten and that they are loved!

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A Momma’s Broken Heart…

Sometimes I think I share too much…isn’t the unknown sometimes safer?  It’s like Tyler going off to boot camp.  As scary as it is, you don’t know exactly what to be afraid of so you find that maybe it’s not quite as bad as you’ve imagined.  I have thought several times that if I had done what he is doing, I could not have gone forward if I had known what was ahead of me.  Sometimes the unknown is not so bad.

But here I sit, wondering if I have given too much of a glimpse into what lies ahead for some people.  Have I only talked about the hard parts of it or shown only the pain of it?  I have to admit, at the beginning, despite the pride in the choice that he made, there weren’t a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings.  It was hard.  Really, really hard.  But I made it through that part.  It went fast.  It didn’t last forever.

But what if you are about to say goodbye to what feels like your whole family?  What must that be like?  I said goodbye to one son.  I moved one son into the rest of his life.  What if it was all my children?  All at the same time?  God didn’t ask me to do that.  I have someone so dear to me who is facing that.  God has asked her to let go of all of her children all at once.  They leave home on the same day.  They start the journey my son is on all at the same time.  Together, with each other.  She must say goodbye to them both and send them into the rest of their lives.

I know some of you may say I am being dramatic, but when she came to see me today, I saw it in her eyes.  It is there.  The fight within her heart to do what is right and let her boys go, to let them grow up, to do what God is asking her to do…to give them back to Him.  But her momma’s heart is breaking.  It will never be the same and I think she knows it.  I know she will do what is best, but this is the part where I wonder if I have said to much, given her a glimpse at the hard part of it, made her see what is so hard to see with clarity that she doesn’t want or need right now, made it harder for her to let go.  I talked about the end of boot camp, the end of boot camp, the end of boot camp….then it was over and then something else came…the realization of this new life – that it wouldn’t be over after boot camp – there was still so much more to go through.  And now she must walk this road times two…and all at the same time.

Maybe I have shared too much.  Maybe I was so focused on what I was going through that I didn’t think of the consequences for someone else, but I know that God gave her to me for a reason.  So even if I did share too much, I can now be there for her the way she was for me.  I can love her, I can cry with her, and most of all I can pray with her for her boys and for her.  I will lift her arms up when she cannot.  I will stand when she cannot rise up.  Because you see, we have  Christ in the middle of us, so whatever the mistakes or wrong steps, He can make it all work for good.  This I believe.  I love you Patrice.

Every Time I Turn Around pt 2

I just had to share and update on Shawna and Ryan that I posted about yesterday.  She posted this to the Marine Moms page today…

“Great news, ladies!!! I was at work last night, had my kiddos tucked in bed and breathing well (it’s respiratory season), and started opening my charts when my phone rang.  Guess who it was!!!! My wonderful son, my Marine!!! We had a very long conversation and talked about so many things.  He started off saying how ashamed he was, which I stopped him short and told him there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and that I am more proud of him today than I was when i spoke with him last weekend.  I told him it took amazing strength to get back up and move forward.  He sounded great!!! He sounded confident, yet humbled and he talked a great deal about faith.  Goodness, I could go on and on about our conversation.  Since I am extremely sleep deprived, I will keep it short in hopes my post will make some sense.  I do want you all to know that I told him about all the prayers you ladies were saying for him and how proud you were of him.  I could hear the smile in his voice when he said “please tell them I said thank you.”  May God continue to bless all of you wonderful Marine Moms. :)”


Just when you think it can’t get any better, God blows up the box we put him in and exceeds all expectation!  Lord, keep encountering Shawna & Ryan and every other Marine and families!