Maybe I’m opening up a can of “religious” worms when I say this, but what if failure isn’t really failure at all?  What if it is a word that we humans have put on things to put them in a box, to give them definition?  Please don’t misunderstand me.  I am talking about emotional, relational, spiritual things.  Choosing to rob a bank is still probably a pretty major failure.

Let me explain.  God has asked something of me in this season.  To be still.  To trust. To be quiet.  To lean.  Yesterday I was not still.  And I definitely was not quiet.  I felt attacked and so I jumped in with both feet and followed people into their storms.  I even threw some of my own lightening in there for effect.  I was raging inside. But a couple of hours later I felt horrible….like I had completely failed.  Like God had asked just one thing of me and because I had messed up so badly,  I had ruined everything He is trying to do (even though I have no idea what that is).

This morning I woke up feeling sad. Like there was no hope.  That I had failed God so He was not going to do whatever great thing He is trying to do in my life.  Then some things that my sister and some friends said to me sparked a different thought.  The first was this….

“Ok – just take a deep breath.  Fall seven times, stand up eight.  You can take responsibility for your part, apologize, repent, push DELETE….Breathe and let HIM comfort your heart.  It’s ok – we all make mistakes – He knows – we are not meant to be perfect….going low is beautiful to Him – letting our weakness be our offering – beautiful to Him.” ~BJ~

What?  Beautiful to Him?  My weakness really is beautiful to Him?

“Perfection is not a requirement, nor is it even attainable in the human form.  God only asked that we strive for Him and when we trip, that we keep going.  Those trip ups are opportunities to see weaknesses and to grow from them.  It’s what you do with them that makes them a success or failure.”  ~LB~

It’s what I do with them that makes it beautiful to Him or not!  We must make mistakes to grow.  If we do not, we will never get anywhere. Making a mistake does not distract God from His plan at all!  It’s all part of it!  If His desire is to see us grow more intimate with Him and we choose to do that in the middle of our mistakes, then His ultimate plan can be fulfilled.  Am I challenging anyone’s thought process with this?  It certainly has been rolling around inside of me all day!  I have to say it again.  My mistakes may just be part of the big plan after all!  But God is moved by my response when I choose to say yes to Him despite myself.  You see, I used to turn away from God when I messed up. Afraid (there’s that fear thing again) that He would not want to look at me.  Afraid He was ashamed of me because of my “failure”.  Yet now I ask the question, Why would he be ashamed of me if this was all part of His plan in the beginning?  If He knows me better than I know myself, doesn’t He know what I struggle with and doesn’t He want to put opportunity in front of me to grow up and out of those struggles?  I’m pretty positive that He does.  Can you relate?