Breaking old things and starting new…

I did something this morning I never realized that I needed to do.  Do you ever have an issue in your life that you would fix but you just don’t know how?  That you would get victory in, but you don’t know the steps to take?  I think I finally realized a powerful one in my life.  I have been plagued by a feeling of rejection and abandonment for a very long time.  It has shaped my emotions and reactions.  It has made me fearful and paralyzed me into a world of procrastination.  I thought it came from a particular source, but I’m realizing that was not the case.  It came from a completely different person and event in my life.  I was looking in the wrong source.  This is why I could not gain full victory over it.  I’m not saying that I have as of yet, but the Lord is pulling back the veil and showing me the origin as I take small steps of obedience.  I know you are all wondering who I am talking about but as much as I would love to tell you, I need to keep the details private.

I think what I am realizing and trying to convey is that I was looking towards the victory and getting nowhere.  I was not looking at the “right now” and asking God what I needed to do to get to the other side.  I was missing the fact that He was desiring my obedience in small, minute things along the way…I was trying to bypass the narrow path without even realizing it.

So this morning, I wrote a letter and broke a tie.  I apologized for my part.  I meant it.  I want to be free.  I do not want to hold anyone in chains.  Sometimes we make choices that we don’t realize we are making.  The only thing we can do is listen for God’s still small voice and respond in obedience…no matter how long it takes.  No matter how hard it is.  God never leaves us with no way out.

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful.  He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.  When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.  I Corinthians 10:13 NLT

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